Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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