You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
