who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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