I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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