I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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