Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
