then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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