I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
