Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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