Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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