I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
