he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
