I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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