omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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