When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
