What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
