i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
