There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
