it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
