You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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