i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
