He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
