perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
