just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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