ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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