my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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