I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
