I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
