they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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