Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
