I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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