just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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