Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
