try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am one with the molecules
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
