If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he shaved USA in his pubs
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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