Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've blown a few things in my day
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
