It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
