I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
