mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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