Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
FUCK WHALES
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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