It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Still dying that you shit outside
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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