I think i peed on brittanys purse
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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