If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
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