tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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