11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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