C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
