fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
