Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
