k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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