Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
