Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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